it's been a year, sorry

erm wow idek, I'll occasionally remember I have this spot and it takes me a while to circle back around to it I guess hah. I don't know how I'd recount all that has transpired in a year. what a crazy concept though. I think actually a year to the day almost??? I didn't even read the last post, just saw the date. Crazy. 

I guess some highlights? 

-end of last summer my friend visited me in Eugene 
-i was venting at art markets pretty often 
-got dumped again by same person, same way same time (fool me twice, huh..) 
-beloved angel skin cat gargoyle Nigel died
-all but 7 chickens died. 
-those last 3 things happened in the span of like a month, I was forever changed after that. 
-went to Texas for Xmas and stayed until now
-just drove across the country, again I am forever changed after these experiences. 

sometimes I still don't know who I am in all of this, yet my sense of self is what I grasp hardest above all else. Both at the same time, I guess. I'm looking forward to spending my time in Seattle, there's a lot of opportunity here and people I want to befriend. I don't know when I ignore my body, or how much is just me living life and trying to do it comfortably. My body doesn't work like it should, I know that much. I'm never sure what I should be doing to fix it, though. Maybe some miracle will bless me and I will heal and figure out how to be my own person in the world, instead of such a leacherous grifter. Maybe that's just me being brainwashed by society, I prefer community anyway. Continuing on always despite anything. Trying new things. I hope to pass through everything and let it all stick to me, save for washing in the waters I'll surely meet along the way. It is all so breathtakingly beautiful. I could die at any time and be perfectly happy with the life I've led. Perhaps a bit more running around the redwoods, though. Also Twentynine Palms is badass. 

alcatraz and the GGB
santa Cruz boardwalk 

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